The Night's Breath on My Back
by Anh.Oi.Cua.Thuy
Summary: Hana gets Kiba to admit he's gay. Now what? Characters' personalities are off in this story ex: Kiba is like Shikamaru KibaxShino
1. Chapter 1: Troublesome

**Chapter One: Troublesome**

Kiba's Point-of-View

There are only two people in this world I know whose presence doesn't annoy me, not entirely anyway. My elder sister, Hana, and my best friend Shino Aburame who just so happens to be the complete opposite of me in every form and way excluding our year in high school, age, and sex.

Shino is too care free and always has some emotion plastered onto his face for everyone to read. It doesn't help he doesn't know how to shut his mouth, that way people would have less of an idea of what's going on in his head. I only ever speak when the time calls for me to. It annoys me so but I deal with it. It's too troublesome to complain about. Well, that's me: I think everyone and thing is annoying. I have to analyze my surroundings just before taking a step forward and I don't let other people know what I'm feeling or thinking. It's me but it's still too troublesome.

* * *

This morning I woke to the sound of that damn alarm clock. I lay in bed for a good five minutes before I turned it off. Hana slammed the door open right after I turned it off with a pissed look on her face.

"If you're not going to turn it off when it goes off in the morning don't bother setting it at night, Moron!" I looked at her and let out a sigh. Her brunette hair was rolled up in numerous curlers, a few were pretty loose from sleeping on them. I erected my body from its previous horizontal position and rested my feet on the cold, hardwood floor. We both stood/sat still in silence. Her face converted to its annoyed look to a sympathetic 'older sister concerned' look. "What's wrong, Kiba?"

She can read me easier than anyone being able to read Shino; she's the only person who can too. There was no reason for her to think I was upset though. That's what I thought anyways. My eyes were completely blank like usual, just glazed do to me just waking up. "Nothing," I said in my usual monotonous voice. I looked up at her with a yawn. "Why do you always assume something's wrong with me?"

"I don't always assume something's wrong with you. I only do that when I feel something's actually wrong. You didn't immediately call me troublesome when I barged in here so something's up," she sat next to me and wrapped her arm around my bare back trying to show me comfort. "Well, what's wrong?"

I again looked at her with apathy in my eyes, "Nothing is wrong." She forced my head onto her right shoulder despite my reluctance.

"Yes there is and you're not going to school until you tell me."

I picked my head up off of her shoulder, "God, you're so bothersome. No wonder I can't stand women."

Her head perked up as though she were Akamaru hearing a dog whistle, "What was that?"

"_You _are troublesome, all of you women are. I can't stand you." I stood up and searched my dirty room for a towel, my actions futile as I couldn't find one. She sat in silence. "I didn't hurt your feelings did I?" I said jokingly. I turned to look at her to see her head looking at the floor. A few of her curlers had fallen out do to her bent position. "Hana?" My voice didn't show much concern, just my dull voice.

"I know you always call me bothersome and troublesome and whatever but you've never specified all woman to be troublesome. I've always thought maybe just maybe you might be but I never said anything. For God's sake you're sixteen and haven't had a girlfriend." She looked at me with an unhappy smile that had an 'it's okay' type of feel to it. "You… are you gay, Kiba?"

I looked at her with an annoyed look. "If I say no what will you say?" I left my slightly chapped lips ajar. I cocked my head to the left waiting for her response.

"I'll say you're full of shit." She stood up. Her head barely reached my shoulders.

"And what if I say yes?" I exhaled angrily through my nostrils.

"I'll tell you that you should tell Shino how you feel." She left the room. "Hurry up and get dressed. I can't be late again to work and you can't be late to school either.

I watched her leave my room. We live in a two bedroom apartment that we pay with the life insurance fund my mom left us when she died in the car accident a year ago. I turned my head to look at a family photo that was taken three weeks before she left us. Hana is the exact image of our mother except she's more understanding than she was.

After a few minutes of aimlessly standing in the middle of my room, I sighed and halfheartedly walked down the hall to Hana's room and leaned on the entrance, "I'm not going to school today."

"So I was right?" She turned from the mirror to look at me. "You know I won't see you any differently." She gave me a genuine smile.

"I never answered your question so don't assume something like that you bothersome woman." I let her hear my agitation.

"Then tell me right now, Kiba. Are you gay?" She set down her eyeliner she was previously messing with.

I rolled my eyes and licked my lips, "Honestly?" She nodded roughly causing even more curlers to fall out. I glanced at the floor and back up to her eyes, "No."

She turned back to her mirror that was mounted on her dresser and continued putting makeup on, "You're full of shit."

"Troublesome…" I paused for a moment waiting for a response to my insult that was directed to her. She said nothing and just continued with her makeup. I was getting annoyed. "Fine! I am! Happy?" She continued with her makeup.

I, completely annoyed, leaned off of the wall and started for my bedroom, "Kiba!" I slowly went back to her room.

"What?" I said aggravated.

"You really should tell Shino you like him."

I rolled my eyes and continued my interrupted action of walking to my bedroom. "And that's why women are troublesome." I made sure she could hear me.

"And that's why you're gay!!" She shouted from her mirror jokingly.

* * *

**A/N:** I know that the personalities of the characters are off but I like Hana, Shikamaru doesn't have a sister, and I like Shikamaru's personality so I gave it to Kiba. Review I guess. Constructive criticism is good. :)

I do not own Naruto.


	2. Chapter 2: Seventeenth Birthday

**Chapter Two: Seventeenth Birthday**

Hana's Point-of-View

Kiba told me he was gay this morning while I was getting ready for work. Well, I _sort of_ forced it out of him. I had always thought that there was a possibility he would be gay. Even though the fact of the matter of him following in love with Shino, his best friend, is really, really cliché, I still think it is the most likely person he would fall in love with, gay or straight. Following in love with your best friend is the most common and natural thing in the world, to me at least. Kiba's personality- quiet, everything is annoying to him, and extreme laziness- doesn't seem like that of a gay person's personality. But, whether he is gay or not and putting aside the fact that it is quite natural to fall for your best friend, he was always innately watching Shino from the day he met him. His eyes were always planted on the hyperactive boy; always intently watching Shino while the boy made a fool of himself; learning everything there was to know about him.

I remember the first time Kiba met Shino. We had moved to a new neighborhood called 'Tree Leaves Closed Community'. It was immediately after my father's death. My mom, Tsume, at the time was a stay-at-home mom, so she had to get a job to support the family. The only reason we moved was because there were no jobs in the last city we lived in for our mother.

We were going through the usual process of moving into our new home: bringing boxes into the new house, unpacking those boxes, introducing yourself to new neighbors who occasionally found their way to your home to investigate the disturbance in their regular lives. Again, I remember the first time Kiba and Shino met. Shino's father, Shibi, had forced him to introduce himself as they had found their way to our new home after Shibi had taken Shino to catch butterflies in a field near our neighborhood. Kiba was just as reluctant to meet him. It wasn't the best time to meet someone new. We had just lost our father after all.

Shino, being young and small, hid behind his father's legs as he quietly introduced himself, "Hi… I'm Shino Aburame." Not even I could see any emotion behind his glasses. The way he acted as a child is completely different from how he acts now. "What's your name?"

Kiba, being the same Kiba he is now as then, stood behind me and didn't say anything. "Sorry about him, Shibi-sama. Shino-kun. We just lost our father, and he's still not over the loss." I bowed my head down.

"I'm very sorry to hear about that, Hana-chan. Shino and I recently lost my wife, so we know what you're growing through." He smiled without any emotion behind it. Well, as far as I could tell. I couldn't see anything behind his sunglasses and high collar.

My mom walked out with a pitcher of lemonade and a pile of foam cups. "Hello, I'm Kiba and Hana's mother, Tsume. I saw they were talking to you two, so I thought that I'd bring out something nice to drink. Would you like some lemonade?" She gave a wide grin.

"I'm Shibi Aburame, and this is my son Shino. That would be nice, Tsume-san, but we're still having a little trouble here."

"And what would that be?" She looked at Kiba expecting he had said something inappropriate when in all actuality I would have been the one to say something. Kiba twitched slightly as she glared at him. I could feel her eyes wanting to glare at me too.

"We're having some trouble getting your little one to introduce himself. Shino and I would really appreciate knowing the name of the people showing such hospitality towards us." He gave a noticeable smile that actually displayed sincerity.

My mother nudged Kiba from behind the refuge of my body. He reluctantly moved from behind me and looked directly at Shino's face, "I'm… I'm Kiba Inuzuka. Nice to meet you.." He obviously didn't show any interest in meeting the boy, but he never sounded interested while saying anything in his life before then, then, or now.

"Nice to meet you as well, Kiba-kun," Shino's present personality immediately showed through as soon as they had properly introduced themselves. Kiba gave a halfhearted smile and became defensive as Shino became open.

Shibi, my mom, and I all just stood there and watch their first interaction with each other. Shino started throwing questions at my little brother who felt uncomfortable with the assortment of them. He kept trying to hide behind my mother and me, but we didn't let him. We both knew at the time he was going to need a new friend, so we forced him to _play_ with the boy.

It wasn't until three weeks later did Kiba actually start to trust the boy. It took another four months until both families dropped the honorifics. Less than two months before we dropped the honorifics, Kiba and I started school again. This is where their relationship came into good use for Kiba. He once told me he didn't want to make friends with anyone. I was really surprised to hear a third grader say that. He always appeared miserable after my father's death. The only thing that could ever make him smile- saying smile is exaggerating it though- was seeing Shino. I could only ever smile while seeing such a rare thing occur. My baby brother's happiness made me happy. That brings me to my next statement: I'm fine with my baby brother being gay because, again, his happiness brings me happiness.

His seventeenth birthday is coming up. I'm going to throw him a little party with the help of Shino and a girl named Hinata. I'm not too familiar with her though. She's more a friend to Shino than anything else, not to Kiba. Anyway, his birthday is on Saturday, and it is just going to be the four of us. He doesn't like birthdays and hasn't had one since our father left us.

I've decided to just order a couple of pizzas and rent Kiba's favorite movie. I don't know what to get him for his birthday. Whether he likes getting birthday presents or not, I'm going to get him one anyway. I have an idea but… not only would it be embarrassing for _me _to buy it, but it would be embarrassing to give it to Kiba, _and _it would be embarrassing for Kiba to receive it from his older sister. I've decided to get it anyway.

I walked into the store with my head down as a blush poured over my face. There was a beep alarming the employees a customer had walked into the store. The three employees immediately looked towards me along with another customer. I felt so weird being in _that_ store. One of the employees, the only female of the three, walked towards me recognizing the uncomfortable look on my face.

"Hi, can I help you, Ma'am?" She smiled at me as if I were a child. "Is there anything specific you're looking for or are you just picking up an order?"

"Um.. I'm looking for something for…" I felt so weird just thinking about what I was about to buy, "Do you have anything for… for guys?" My eyes left hers and moved my way around the store to the things on the walls and on the shelves that cluttered the store.

"Yes, we have a whole section on the left side of the store. Follow me please." I followed her to where the objects of my inquisitiveness brought me. I picked a random object, paid for it, and left the store with the worse feeling in the world.

Hinata's Point-of-View

Shino and Hana had invited me to spend the night with them for Kiba's seventeenth birthday. I can unfortunately only stay for so long though. My cousin Neji and I have Tae Kwon Do tournament early in the morning.

Hana ordered pizza and rented a movie. It's been on for awhile but I lost interest near the beginning of the movie. I was lenient when it came to the number of slices of pizza I had. I wanted more though. I know not to be overindulgent and didn't want to look bad in front of Hana.

Like I said, I was lost whenever I focused on the movie. I didn't understand what was happening each time I began watching again. Amid glimpses of the movie and looking at the walls, I glanced at Kiba every once in awhile. He is so handsome. He has such beautiful facial features. His hair is so ruff and in such disarray. It suits him perfectly. He has such attractive eyes. Hazel. His hazel eyes weren't focused on the movie either. They were fixed on Shino. I looked across the room to see if Shino was staring back. He was not. He was attentively watching the movie even though I'm sure he's already seen it. Hana was fiddling with the ends of her shirt sleeves and looking down as she did so. She looked nervous.

Kiba rarely talked to me. I tried to be friendly with him, but no matter how hard I tried, he was never interested in being my friend. Shino was and still is the only person he talks to. Every time it was just the three of us, I could sense I was in their way or something like that. I would always try to leave without them noticing, but I could never leave without being caught by Shino's eyes. He'd always point it out that I was trying to leave without being noticed. Kiba would say nothing, there was always nothing on his face, no emotion, and he would let me leave as if I were a nuisance. To him though, everything is a nuisance, so I don't see why I'd be the exception.

"You know what! I'm getting annoyed with this movie. Let's have Kiba open his presents."

Kiba's Point-of-View

Hana abruptly ended the quiet I was enjoying. Shino didn't notice I was staring at him the entire movie. He was the only one watching it. I could tell Hinata was staring at me and Hana was looking at her lap like she was ashamed or something.

"Why?" She does the wrong things at the most inopportune moments. After I had told her I was gay, all I could do was think of Shino. Now that I had a good opportunity to stare at his beauty, I couldn't. Oh well. I have to thank her though. Even though I hate birthdays, she took the time to arrange this. Although, it can't really be considered a birthday to me.

"I'm sick of this movie is why. We've seen it a thousand times!" She stood up and grabbed a couple of envelopes, a small, badly wrapped box, and a red bag with papier-mâché pouring over the sides.

I looked at her without blinking, "It's my birthday, Hana." My face wrinkled into a scowl. I only ever did something like that when I was really mad, and I know she knows that as well.

She decided to act childish and stuck out her tongue as if I were a boy with 'cooties.' "I don't care. Hinata has to leave at ten o'clock, and it's already half past nine. Deal with it, Dog-Breath." I looked over at Hinata. My face turned to its usual apathetic features. She caught this and looked down as if she had done something wrong.

"Fine." I held out my hand demandingly and snatched the first letter Hana gave me out of her hand. The letter was from Hinata. I felt a little bad. I always treated her like shit, and here she was getting me a birthday present that I obviously didn't deserve. She would invite me to her birthday parties every year since the first year I met her in third grade. I never attended any of them. I never even got her a present of sorts. Hmph.. I thought Shino was the childish one. The only birthday get-togethers I'd ever attend were Shino's, and I'd come late. I only ever talked to him as well. After the third or fourth birthday of his, I stopped going. He'd have a little thing the day before his birthday for me so we could spend some time together, just the two of us. Well, for the most part. Hana would sometimes attend our activities to supervise us or Hinata would show up out of nowhere.

I opened the envelope as if it were a bill that I knew was going to be high. The card had a corny cover. I opened it and forty dollars fell out. It had beautiful handwriting which I was expecting of her. Everything with her had to be perfect. I read the note in my head:

_Kiba,_

_I know I'm not your most favorite person, but I want you to know I still see you as my friend. I don't want it to sound blunt, but I know that, to you, I'm an annoyance. I want that to change. I want Shino, you, and myself to be really close friends. I want us to know each other throughout our lives and die knowing each other. I know that sounds corny and you might think the thought of knowing me forever is 'troublesome,' but I truly feel that way. Spend the forty dollars wisely, and have a Happy Birthday! _:)

I couldn't help but feel bad. I looked at her with a guilty look on my face. I gave her a soft smile which she acknowledged as a sorry. That's how I intended it to be. She nodded happily at this. It only takes simple things like this to change people, that or something extremely difficult to handle to change a person. My father's death was that extremely difficult hurdle to overcome. He's the reason I am the way I am today.. My mom's death on the other hand made me open up a little bit. She taught me to not shelter myself because one minute you'll have something or someone and the next you won't. Just like her death…

"Thank you, Hinata," I bowed my head. She smiled energetically. Shino and Hana looked at me weirdly.

"Okay, how about Shino's letter and his gift." She handed me the poorly wrapped box and a white envelope with my named engraved in pen on the front. I opened the letter and read it knowing exactly what it was going to say: _Another year, your life's getting shorter! Make the best of it!_

What do you know; it said the same thing he says to me every year. I unraveled the paper around box to reveal a bottle of cologne I had nonchalantly told him I wanted. I looked at him and gave him a nod. He understood it to be my thank you and nodded back. I then looked at Hana who was fidgeting with her fingers. She was acting like this all night, and it was really beginning to piss me off.

"Um.. I'll just give you the letter for now," She stuttered slightly. She started at me coyly. I gave a look of distrust, and she fell for it. She handed me the bag hesitantly, "Unwrap it slowly."

I, again, gave her a look of distrust and slowly slid my hand in the bag.

"Don't take it out!" I stopped right before the object was visible to anyone including myself. I decided to move the papier-mâché aside and peered in.

I couldn't believe what I saw. I dropped the bag and could feel my face turn red until I started sweating, "What the fuck was that?" I frightened Hinata.

"I thought you'd want it," she wouldn't look at me in the face. "I wanted to show you that I su-"

"Hana! Shut up!" I looked towards Shino and Hinata who were both confused.

"Sorry!" Her face began to turn red along with mine. Shino let his curiosity take over like it did many other times before and began reaching for the bag. Hana and I jumped onto the bag before he had a chance to even touch it. "Do not look in this bag, Shino!"

He looked astonished to say the least. He'd seen Hana like that a few times, but to see me acting in such a manner was unusual to say the least. "Okay..?"

Hinata had a look of confusion as well. Not only had she never _at all_ seen me like that, but she had never seen Hana as a person to be a part of such tomfoolery. "Um… I think I'm going to go now. My dad should be here in here in a little while anyways."

"Oh," Hana began to stand up. Her hair had messed up in the quick spree across the living room floor, "Tell Hiashi-sama I said hello."

Hinata nodded. She went to the front door and began putting her shoes on when I walked over to her after having a quick _this-isn't-over_ argument with Hana. "Thank you for the gift, Hinata. Um.. I… I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Kiba. I'll see you and Shino tomorrow at the tournament. Are you still going to come?" She had opened the door and began walking towards the street where her dad was waiting.

"Yeah. Thanks again." I tried to smile, but Hiashi's eyes seemed like they were glaring through me as if I were some boy trying to get into Hinata's pants.

I went back to Hana and Shino after locking the door. Shino continued to try and see what was in the bag. All of his attempts were futile (Thank Kami). Hana wouldn't let him see it because it would make her look bad too.

"Shino," he stopped fighting with Hana, "Let's go to bed. We have to be there early if we want to get good seats to see Hinata better during the tournament."

He didn't hesitate to follow my direction. I looked at Hana as Shino walked to my room. "What were you thinking buying something like that?" I spoke in a whisper to not intrigue Shino any further.

"I thought you'd like something like that. You should be grateful anyways. It's not every day your big sister buys you a didlo."

"SHH!" She was being ignorantly loud. "Just give me the dam bag." I snatched the bag from her hands, went to my room, and slammed the door behind me.

Third Person

A few photos fell off of the wall in the hallway after Kiba slammed the door. Shino looked a little baffled at the weird events that happened. First, Kiba smiled at Hinata; then, Kiba had actually dived for something along with Hana; and last, the boy actually yelled at Hana without her slapping him.

"Kiba, what was that all about?" Shino was sitting on Kiba's queen sized bed when the said boy walked into his room.

Kiba didn't say anything. He just began pulling out an air mattress from his closet along with an extra pillow and blanket. He flattened out the air mattress and turned the air pump on. He began to fill with air. There was a low hum in the room.

"Kiba?" Shino continued to sit on Kiba's bed.

"Nothing." The hum continued throughout the room.

"Then why can't I see what Hana got you," Shino looked at the bag that was lying on the floor near the door.

Kiba eyed Shino for a brief second before shouting, "Don't!" Shino made a dive for the bag. Luckily Kiba was closer and interfered with Shino's scramble towards it. "Don't, Shino, promise me you won't look in the bag."

"Give me a good reason and I will," Shino hissed has Kiba intentionally stepped on his foot. They were both in an awkward position after Shino's attempt at the bag. Kiba had one hand wrapped around Shino's back holding on to his right arm and his other hand holding Shino's left hand above their heads. Kiba began to blush has he realized exactly how they were standing. He let go of his hands and stepped back closer to the red bag.

The hum continued..

"I don't want you to see it," Kiba looked down has his blush started to creep up towards his ears. Confusion and sadness peered through into his eyes and could be seen by anyone. His voice was soft and gentle, "Please let that be a good enough reason... Shino."

Shino noticed the blush and idiotically, and openly, asked, "Did Hana get you a porno or something?"

Kiba blushed even more, that's if it were possible, "No." He took another step back.

"It is, isn't it?" Shino took a step closer to the other boy. Kiba shook his head still looking at the ground. "Let's watch it."

Kiba's head shot up, his blush now gone, "What? Even if it was, why would I watch porn with you?"

Shino had to think about it for a minute, "I don't know. It's not that weird. It's not like we're gonna jack off together." There goes his straightforward personality again. The hum continued.

The blush grew over Kiba's face again. Why was this boy, in five minutes, breaking down all of Kiba's defenses that took him years to build? Yes, they were best friends, and yes, Kiba did love the boy, but why did Kiba instantly break down like that? He never blushed. He never asked for anything. He never let himself seem so fragile before. So why now was he like this?

There was an awkward silence for a good minute or two before Kiba spoke, "Can we just go to bed?"

Shino looked at him with curiosity on his face which soon left, "Sure."

The hum stopped. Shino stretched the blanket over the air mattress and put the pillow at the end of the 'balloon' bed. The boy lay down on the air mattress while Kiba turned off the light. He found his way to his bed after stumbling over something that was probably a shoe.

"Goodnight, Kiba."

"Night, Shino."

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**A/N:** I know it's not the bestestest story in the world bu please review. PLEASE REVIEW! I really want to see what people think of this story so far.

The next chapter will have some of the **M **rated material in it. :) Later!


	3. Chapter 3: Poised Silence in the Morning

**Chapter Three: Poised Silence in the Morning**

Kiba's Point-of-View

I had a difficult time after my mom died. I felt betrayed by her, as if she let me down. I know it wasn't her fault though. It was an unfortunate incident that no one could have controlled. After awhile, I got over that feeling, but it lingers in my gut on certain occasions. I felt that way last night. The way Hinata acted towards my discourtesy made me think of my mother and how she would handle Hana's stupidity when we were younger. Hana continuously made mistakes that _could_ have been avoided. She once set the kitchen on fire when my mom told her not to cook anything while she was out of the house. Hana did so anyway. It's funny now that I think about it. She was boiling eggs and forgot she had left them on the stove. The water poured over the pan and caused the fire to flicker. It caught onto a hand towel, and there went the kitchen. My mom was just worried about us. Hana didn't even get in trouble. We got to see our mom's affectionate side, which was a rare occasion. Nice, but unusual.

She acted that way with Shino on multiple occasions. He spent the night at my house more frequently than what he does now when we were younger. I was obstinate and would never compromise with him. He'd have to stay the night at my house. No questions asked. He always obliged to my wishes though.

For awhile after Shion's death, his mother, he would have nightmares of her dying. He was unfortunate enough to witness her death. She was stabbed protecting an elderly woman. The woman owned a small kiosk right outside of Tree Leaves Closed Community. Shion walked by everyday in the morning. She would buy the paper for Shibi and a soda pop for Shino when passing by. One morning, a morning that hardly ever happened, Shion brought Shino along with her. A man was robbing the elderly woman when the two of them arrived. Shion knew what the right thing to do was. She carried out her quickly fabricated plan with no hesitance. She tried to apprehend the man, but failed to do so. He grabbed a knife from his holster and stabbed her with a look of shock on his face. He ran off. Never caught. Shino was too traumatized to recall the events; only in his dreams was he able to do so.

It always occurred in the same pattern. He would wake up crying, some nights more excessive than others, and my mom would come into my room and hush him back to sleep. She always had a look of sorrow plastered on her face. Anyone who knew us could see that she eventually took Shino as her own. He needed it more than he'd admit when confronted by Hana when she'd reference the topic.

After my mom would put us back to bed, he would ask me to lay down with me. That started after the third time he spent the night. I would let him of course, and he would tell me about his dream I would listen every time. I knew what if felt like to lose a parent, so no matter how many times I heard him describe the images that flowed through his unconscious mind, I would listen the next time, and the next time, and the next time. My father's death was under less extreme circumstances though. He passed away from gastrointestinal cancer. Chemo didn't take.

Anyway, that would happen often but gradually became less frequent. I remember him sleeping in bed with me. He would always try to sleep as close as possible to me without interfering too much into my personal bubble. I didn't mind him being close. It felt good to be so close to another person. His breath would always reach the nape of my neck sending shivers down my spine. Again I say, it felt good to be so close to someone.

I always woke up before him. My biological clock has been waking me up at or around seven o'clock since I was a child. Hana is right about the alarm clock. It's just another nuisance in my life. I always stared at him. His chest always rose, taking in oxygen, and fell, expelling his morning breath, at a sound pace. In and out. Up and down. Relaxing to listen to and pleasant to gaze at.

My room has always been chilly, and I like it that way. I'm one of those people who like to have the window up in the middle of winter but sleep with two or three blankets. With Shino, I only needed one. He has disturbed my manner of approaching everything since the day we met, yet for some irrevocable reason that I can't explain, I allow him in knowing full well what his presence will do to me. That's how I know I love him. I need those little disturbances in my life to function normally now.

I haven't been able to sleep this entire time. I woke up awhile ago. I haven't even moved yet. I just keep hoping that Shino won't betray or hasn't already betrayed my trust and look in that wretched bag. He _can't_ see that _thing_ Hana bought. I really don't know what the hell she was thinking. I know that she's just supporting me, even though in such an extremely bizarre way, but I've never even thought of doing something like that. Thinking about how to begin anything along those lines has never crossed my mind. It's all too annoying. I know that I'm gay, or at least I think I know I am. Well, whether I'm gay or not, I know that I love Shino. To me, that's all that truly matters. So, to say bluntly, I don't know what the fuck I would do in a situation with another guy. I'm sure it would be a pleasurable experience, probably awkward as well, but I wouldn't know what to do. I've never thought of anyone in such a manner, not even Shino. I didn't even know what masturbating was until he asked me if I had ever done it. He got his answer when I had a blatantly confused look on my features.

Do I masturbate? Yes, on not so often occasions I do. It's not a sexual thing to me though. It's more of a way to help myself relieve stress. Again, it's not frequent at all.

I'm worried about what would happen if Shino and I were to be together. Now anyway. It scares me. To completely put yourself in the hands of another person honestly scares me. I'm not ignorant to what sex is or how it happens with a couple, no matter the two sexes, but I would go blank, that or try too hard to please my partner. I don't know… When it comes, I suppose I'll know what to do.

* * *

I grew irritated of my position and turned my body to the right. I thought it was the wall at first, but realized that it was Shino. It felt warmer than usual. It was sort of obvious really. I opened my eyes to see his sleeping face. My eyes adjusted to the light seeping through my eyelids while I was lying down, so the annoyance of getting used to my surroundings was out of the way.

His eyelids were flickering and his breath hitched. I read somewhere about how people move their eyes while recalling certain memories while unconscious. I just hoped that it wasn't about Shion's passing. I never liked seeing him upset. It only took me a brief moment to realize that she wasn't on his mind. His breath hitched again. I could see his breathing becoming raspy.

I HATE how things that I dread always come to fruition immediately after thinking or speaking of them.

I could feel his erection on my left thigh…

I lifted the blanket softly. I could see it. I didn't know what to do. I pondered whether or not to get out of bed and pretend like nothing was wrong… or.. or do something.

My breath was ripped out of me and my heart felt like it stopped when he moved. He rolled over onto his back. It was obvious now. His penis was forcing the blanket upward, not at all in a subtle fashion.

I looked at his face… I wish he was awake to tell me what to do. I'm not assuming he'd tell me to jack him off, but I'm sure he'd at least tell me to get out of the room or something. His breathing settled again.

I gained resolve. I gently moved my hand onto his leg. When he did nothing, I went to the strap of his boxers. My heart was pounding to no extent. A continuous feeling of insecurity crept into my gut and the butterflies raged on, telling me not to do it. Another part of me was telling me to go ahead. I've never involuntarily gotten an erection before. My briefs felt tight. I knew what to do. I was just being tugged in two different directions. Desire or patience.

I waited for a moment thinking of the ramifications of doing this. He would obviously wake up. Hell no was I ignorant to that fact. My head scanned on with two questions piling on top of every answer I discovered for other, previous questions. My hand said desire and went for it. I grabbed his length and began to stroke it in a rhythmic pattern. My hand began shaking slightly as I pleasured my unconscious best friend. I could feel it pulsating in my hand as I continued. His hips bucked if only slightly to my actions to his body. I loved what I was doing. The adrenaline finally kicked in, and my body began to feel good.

I kept my eyes locked on his face. His eyes twitched. His breathing grew unsettled. His lips began to slip ajar.

I could tell by the way his brow lifted that he would release soon, that and he would wake up.

And so he did. His eyes met mine instantaneously. I stopped.

"Kiba..?" was his only response. I felt his erection beginning to become flaccid in my hand.

I stared at him. I didn't blink. My face drew into a frown and I continued stroking him in hopes he wouldn't be repulsed by me. I squeezed roughly. His head flung back releasing an almost inaudible gasp. I took the covers off of us and sat on his legs pulling down his boxers enough to reveal his once again erect member. I looked down at him to see whether I should stop. His eyes were bent on mine after I had removed the blanket.

"Do you want me to do it to you too?" He touched the bulge in my briefs. His question and touch drew a picture of ignorance on my face.

"Is that a yes?" he asked. He reached into my underwear and grasped my erection that had been craving attention. His hand was better than mine. My mind was at a lost. I forgot about his needs and solely concentrated on this feeling that was entirely new to me.

"Ah!" He rubbed the top of my penis with his palm.

"What do I do, Shino?" He moved himself underneath me until our members were both touching. I could feel his heat and hair rubbing at my groin. It felt good. He grasped both of our erections in his hand and began stroking.

Precum had already expelled from the tip of my length. I knew I was on the edge. I grabbed his thigh and hunched my back. I released in his hand and on his chest. He continued to stroke the both of us simultaneously. My cum eventually became lubricant for the two of us. He continued. Faster and faster. I could feel his body tense under mine when he came. His body shuddered momentarily.

Then there was silence.

Third Person

Neither of the two knew what to do. Kiba continued to sit on top of Shino. Shino didn't remove his hands from there now flaccid members. Their eyes stayed locked with the others.

The morning light shined through the blinds. The air was brisk like usual. There was silence, gauche silence that created an awkward feeling between the two of them. Both were uncomfortable in their respective positions, but they dared not move nevertheless.

That particular morning, there was no poise whatsoever in the silence that was caused by two best friends.

* * *

I'll definately have another chapter for anyone reading this on Saturday evening. Review and comment. :/ 3 Sorry for the late... late... update...


	4. Chapter 4: One Time Kiss

MizzAKA, I don't know if you've been awaiting this, but I read your previous comments, and felt horrible for leaving this alone for almost a year! I apologize!

I do not own nor claim to own Naruto.

* * *

Kiba's Point-of-View

That was the first time I dreamed of Shino in that manner…

I woke up to a low humming sound. Darkness owned my eyes after opening them. My alarm clock read 3:18. The bright green light agitated my eyes, squinting to accommodate my fresh vision.

"Shino?" It was a low grumble. I could not quite make it audible over the purr of the mattress. It was an old air mattress. The tape meant to seal the miniscule holes did not serve their purpose, a simple task of keeping the participant comfortable, of preventing any air from breaching the mattress. My façade of being a cold asshole was doing the same thing. It ensued not in consolation. It ensued not in that of which I desired, allowing my emotions to be revealed, if only slightly, and if only those close to me, Hana, Shino..Hinata? Last night was a catastrophe. Never have I allowed myself to be seen in such a light. Hana has on multiple occasions seen me in such a state, but being my elder sister, that is inevitable. However, Shino and Hinata have never seen me act the role of jester, and for Shino, never in such a vulnerable circumstance, the events that only had just taken place a few hours ago before drifting off to that wondrous dream.

And never have I seen _myself_ like that… horny?

I tried again clearing my throat, "Shino..?"

"Kiba? You awake? Sorry about the noise. I was practically on the floor. Needed to refill the mattress." I could see his figure getting closer crawling on the floor.

His scent was strong. My mind transitioned to my dream, and for some reason unbeknownst to me, my breath hitched.

"Kiba?" His voiced was the softest of whispers, perfectly audible, and perfectly sensual no matter how unintentional.

"Shino…" My stomach sank. Butterflies raged. It began to hurt. I sat up slowly, "If you want, you can sleep here. I'll go to the couch in the living room."

"No. You don't have to do that. I'll be fine." I gazed at him, having already adjusted to the beams of moonlight breaking into the room through the cracks of the moving window shade. The air wafted into my room. It was cool for a morning in July. It hit me. My arms. Back. Shoulder. Neck… My hairs quickly stood up. My arms tingled.

"Shino… Do you remember when we were younger… Your nightmares? Shion-sama?" I treaded on thin ice. I did not want to hurt him by bringing up painful memories.

"Yeah." Solemn.

"You used to lay down with me after Ma' would set you back to sleep. Why would you ask to sleep with me?"

There was a pause. My dream: silence. It was uncomfortable, but I could tell he felt obligated to answer, "I don't know. It was comfortable sleeping with you. I felt safe. Like.. as if _he _couldn't hurt me anymore…"

"I'm sorry, Shino, for asking… I just... Come here, Shino," I demanded softly, patting next to me on the bed. "Get the bag first."

He did I as I asked. I shifted my weight and began to breathe with rasp.

"Look in it." I could not meet his eyes. I glared at the moon. Hmph..! Yes, Kiba, it is all the moon's doing.

He opened it, first pulling out the papier-mâché. He stopped after grabbing it, but he did not pull it out. I think he was trying to determine what it was, but thankfully the plastic covering was preventing him from doing so. He pulled it out.

"What is it? I can't really see it."

I took it from him, and popped it open. I grabbed his hand, placing _it_ into his calloused grasp. He squeezed it.

"Kiba? Is this one of Hana's gags?" He dropped it onto the bed after realizing what he was holding.

I continued out the cracks between the shades, knowing full well what I was about to utter might my friendship with the man I love. "Shino… I'm gay…"

He stiffened and refused to move, languid but faultless. I reached for the window shades, opening them to let more light in, to see his face, my beloved. My eyes first caught his knee and then his boxers that slipped down his thigh due to his position. His stomach was inhaling and exhaling in an unsettled approach. Pale. His collar bone was visible, the moonlight emphasizing his body with more shadow, such strong contrast. His jaw was tight and unwavering.

"Shino, you are my best friend, and I care a great deal about you… Please don't hate me, but my affection for you as a friend has gradually matured into stronger feelings. Hana made me admit it to myself only two days ago. Shino, please don't hate me... I think I love you. More than the mundane love that we have expressed for one another… more than the love of two friends. Shino.. I'm sorry that I've let it come to this." I tried to be as forward as possible, without seeming desperate, but I immediately knew it was lost. He was shaking his head slowly, staring at the bed. I could figure his thoughts by his body language. He was unconsciously telling me no. His body was moving as if he had just learned a loved one has passed away, disbelief, the refusal of the inevitable truth.

"No…" he muttered continuing to shake his head, "No.."

"No. No. No. No. No." He began to shake his head faster and clasped his hair slowly.

"Shino..?" I reached out for him.

"How? How could you turn out like this? How did I not know…? Kiba…? Please, no… How could you be one of _those_ people?" He backed a bit away from me.

"Shino…?" My eyes began to water. "Shino, how? Really? How! Nothing's changed. I don't expect you to return my feelings. I don't. I really don't, but why would you say that? Those people? Gay? You don't get it!"

He stood up quickly after I reached for him again, "Then tell me! Tell me what I don't get!" He voice had escalated to a clearly perceptible tone filled with anger.

"Five minutes ago, you wouldn't have thought twice of me touching you? So what? I tell you I'm in love with you and now I'm disgusting…? Shino.. please.. just sit down.. and don't speak so loudly.. Hana will awaken." He rejected me, crossing his arms as if I were staring at him with eyes of lust. My eyes, I know, displayed angst. "I'm not gay, Shino… or maybe I am..? I don't know, but to me it doesn't matter. I've.. I've only ever looked at you. No one else. Ever. Never have I been attracted to a woman. Nor a man. No one.. only you… I don't know how to explain it other than that. I have always cared for you in a way I know I should never have allowed me self to feel, but you, Shino, you are my best friend. I don't know anyone else who would be more perfect to create these feelings of content and anxiety, both at the same time, in my heart. So, I ask you to accept my feelings. You don't have to return them in any way, just acknowledge them and don't let our relationship change…"

His body relaxed slightly. I in turn stiffened, bringing my knees to my chest, cowering in my own dismay.

"Kiba… I love you. I know that, and I can say it with confidence. But.. in no way, shape, or form in the way you claim to love m-"

"-that's what I mean…"

"What..?" He sat back down, placing his hand gently on my feet, fidgeting with my toes to try to give me any form of comfort he could.

"That I claim I love you… I don't claim it. Well, I do, but the way you said it…" I looked up at him, tears having broken the barrier I vowed never to allow to break.

"I'm sorry, Kiba, but I can't love you in the same way that you love me," he stated reaching for my face with the hand that was fiddling with my toes. I shifted and fell into him. He held me for the longest of seconds, giving me what I needed, if only this once.

I glanced up, lips quivering, eyes still flowing my feelings, the _tape _being completely torn away. "Shino, once..?"

"Once?" he asked puzzled.

"Kiss me?"

Pause.

"Once…?"

My head shook yes.

And it happened…

The most glorious event.

The most unforgettable event.

It surged through my body. I felt it. Everywhere. I could feel my hairs stand straight. The goose-bumps harden. My toes curl. My fingers clasp into his back.

Our lips met more than once. Air only acting as an arbitrator between the touch of our lips. I felt chapped lips and tasted sweet tongue, but it was still perfect, as perfect as it could get.

He flipped me over onto my back and continued his assault on my lips, touching my body, straddling my hips.

It was Heaven.

Bliss.

But as quickly as it began, it stopped, realizing what he was doing, contradicting himself.

I was flustered, left in a daze. I missed his body so close to me, his heat, but to object was something I could not do. He obliged to my request, and then sum. But still…

"Kiba.. I…" He put his face in his hands, leaning back against his heels.

"Please don't hate me… Shino.. I said once… and you don't have to again… but again I say once…"

He removed his face from his hands and fixed his eyes in my direction waiting for me to finish.

"I'm sure I'm not ready, and I know it will ruin us, but once… sleep with me… Once… Only once… and I'll never… I'll let my feelings go. If you want, I won't speak to you afterwards. I'll forget the past. Just please, satisfy my greed for you. I beg you..."

"Kiba..!" He was stone.

"I'm sorry," I said with obvious agony in my voice as I was about to hurt my best friend. I leaned forward, pushing him down gently onto the bed. His body did not reject my hand, instead falling down into my bed.

I stared into his eyes for any glint of acceptance. I found finding favor in his flustered eyes near infeasible.

I attacked anyway, knowing full well what I was doing, accepting the reality that what I was doing might devastate my friendship.

I promised once, and to keep my promise will be my heart. The alteration and extension of my promise…

That is different.

I promise.

Shino, you will welcome atonement.

I will give you what you need.

Just bestow upon me the answers to my prayers.

Just this once.

I promise

Just this once…

Shall I kiss the rugged terrain that composes the mastery of your lips.

I love you…

* * *

Please, tell me what you think, loves!


	5. Chapter 5: The Pillow Got Wet

Kiba's Point-of-View

I was genuinely afraid of the ultimatum that Shino gave me. The first choice would help me to remove the infatuation that I hold for him in my heart, or at least that is what I would like to believe, slowly being open with him, telling him what I needed to say when I needed to say it, that if need be, he would hold me momentarily as a lover, begrudgingly fixing my past mistakes. The latter option is the one that frightened me, and although I had the option of doing the right thing, the choice that would save my relationsh- friendship- with Shino, I desired the alternative, knowing that it would break me, that it would break Shino, that it would cause malice to grow inside me, and utter discomfort to manifest inside Shino's heart. It would cause us to break off from one another, throwing away so many years of accomplishments, those of friendship, that he had put near no effort into, being open about everything, and that I had put everything into, learning while gazing at him during ever possible opportunity.

The latter. He told me that we would never have sex, that it was impossible for it to work, for we are both males, and that it would break the laws of nature to lay with a person of the same sex, and to lay with your best friend, and so, we did not have sex. Instead, he told me that I could please him with my mouth, and that he would not touch me, but would watch me please myself, if only for his own blatant curiosity, nor would we kiss again, and that he would try to stay as emotionally attached as he could for my sake. I desired this, if only once, even though I would have no idea what to do or how to approach it. But it would indeed ruin our friendship, the part that frightens me so. I could be with him in this manner on the condition that after we were finished, after the night was done, that we would never speak of what had transpired, nor would we speak of my feelings.

I could not decide, and so I told him to, which unfortunately enough, he said it was my decision to make. I thought quickly, and decided that it would _be _him to decide. I labeled odd numbers the former option, and even numbers the latter option, the disastrous one, and told him to pick a number between one and ten.

…

Four.

I looked at him and swallowed, repeating the number he had just previously said, if only to conform what he had said was what he had said, "Four."

He nodded slowly, wondering what the number four meant, still sitting on his heels. "What does four mean..?" He asked cautiously.

"It means that we're done…" I looked at him, tears slowly making their way back into my eyes.

"What does that mean..?" he asked completely perplexed.

"It means the second choice, Shino…" I wanted to grab the nearest sharp object and slit my throat.

"So you're going to.. um.. to my..?" He tensed up and slowly picked his bottom up with his hands, repositioning himself only slightly farther away.

I looked at him, looked at him squirm at the thought of me touching him, even in the slightest of abrasives. My countenance changed from one flustered with tears, to one of pure angst. To think that he is so disgusted by me now.

"Shino..?" My eyes were going off in all different directions. I could not stay attached to one particular thing long enough to calm myself.

"I said that you could, Kiba, and I will abide by my promise, but remember what I said, so abide by yours." My eyes finally gained the courage to fix themselves onto him.

I grabbed at the sheets, "Shino, I love you, always have, and probably always will. If you could only feel the pain in my heart right now, how flustered I feel, how fast it's pounding through my ribcage. It's telling me that this is real, that it isn't just something I pulled out of thin air."

"Kib-" I interrupted.

"-You said we wouldn't talk about it after, which is why I'm saying it now. I'm still keeping my promise.. I know that our friendship is going to ruin. I know the truth in that, and I know I will always regret it, but for the moment, I'm going to.. I don't know.. I love you, Shino… I love you."

"Kiba.." He looked hurt, knowing there was nothing to say, or at least nothing he could say to respond to my declaration.

I leaned forward, keeping my eyes on his the entire approach. I put my forehead on his, his heavy breathing brushing against my lips. I blocked out my need to kiss him. I could tell by the way he was holding himself that he thought I was going to again. I closed my eyes. My hands started to wonder over his body, slowly tracing every line, every contour of his perfect, pale body. They reached his nipples, discovering them for the first time, trying to not do anything wrong, as if touching a perfect blossom only to have the petals suddenly fall off.

I opened my eyes only to find his closed.

"Get on with it already, Kiba." I could not tell whether his impatience was out of sexual frustration or for this night to be over as quickly as possible.

My thumb made its way to his chin, triggering his eyes to open, those hazel eyes I love so much. He was scared, as much as I, my thought being proven by how quickly his heart was beating below my hand.

"Is this your.. your first time..? We've never really talked about it."

He responded with a nod, aiming his eyes to random directions so as to not look at me.

"Please, Shino, like a lover.. just for tonight," I pleaded. His lips trembled as his gaze fell back onto me. The curve of his jaw tightened.

I made my way to his chest, laying kisses every which way I could, paying attention to the rose buds on his chest, which triggered some sort of reaction in him for his eyes closed again.

He borrowed away from me, which caused me to think we were crossing the boundary that we should not be crossing, even with our consents. I realized that it was just impatience. He had positioned himself at the foot of the bed, legs resting alongside it, feet planted on the ground. His shoulders were tight and his hands were clenched on both sides of him, waiting for me to come to him.

"Shino.."

"Hurry up…" There was no desire in his voice, just urgency which caused my gut to sink further.

I got off the bed and walked over to him, positioning myself in front of his crouch that was still sheltered by his closed thighs.

I reached for his knees, which caused him to tense further, separating them to allow access.

"I don't really know what I'm doing, Shino, so bare with me.."

His length was pushing the fabric of his boxers, and I realized why he was trying to rush things. I palmed his bulge getting a few hitched breaths and a quiver out of him. I tugged at his boxers and he got it as a hint that I was ready. He leaned back onto his elbows lifting his hips to allow me to pull them down, and when I did, I saw the most glorious of sights. I stared at it for a good minute. I felt him watching me watching him. My breath caused his prick to twitch.

I went for it, grabbing the base of the shaft, receiving more raspy breathes. My hand was clumsy as I stroked him, precum already settling at the tip. I pulled his skin back and licked it which earned me a hiss and a shudder. I put his entirety in my mouth, braising him slightly with my teeth. He winced. I came up and apologized.

"Lick it again.." he commanded with his eyes half lidded.

I did so, starting at the base, making my way up to the head, enveloping my mouth around it and sucking gentle, letting my tongue tickle every part of him I could. He collapsed onto his back and started gnawing at his hair with his hands. I could not tell whether that was good or bad.

"Does it hurt..?"

He angled his head at me, shaking left to right briefly. He kept his gaze on me as I began to work him again, taking him all the way in, and then out. He tasted musky, and it turned me on. I kept going, bobbing up and down, figuring out how to use my tongue, exploring with my hands, titillating his sac.

His tip was his weakness, on the side of the base where the curve under his head meets the foreskin. Every time I got near it, he would arch, buckling into my throat, and so I worked on that spot, causing him to thrash slightly, his hands roaming into my hair, eyes closed, head back, body completely out of it.

"Kiba, I'm gonna' cum.."

I went all the way down on him, flexing the back of my throat and rimming the base with my tongue until I felt him shiver an utterance. I felt my mouth fill with a distinct flavor, almost choking me, strong and manly, salty if you will, and I savored it before deciding to swallow it instead of spitting it out.

His abdomen was rising and falling irregularly. Sweat owned his body, and his head back against the bed.

I began to kiss the inside of his thighs, gently licking wherever I please, leaving a hicky where his leg meets his groin, his hands still playing with my hair.

I took his tip in once more to clean the remaining seed off of him, simultaneously working his spot. He propped himself up onto his elbows once again. Eyes glazed over with pleasure. Breathe still raspy.

"Was it.. was it good.. Shino..?" His eyes closed for a moment, and then opened again. He nodded, giving me the answer I wanted. "Um.."

"Thank you.." He stood up, nudging me aside, putting his boxers back on, and began looking for the rest of his clothes, placing them on as he found them.

"Shino?" I began to cry again.. just tears, no sobs. "Where are you going..?"

"Home."

"Why?" I already knew the answer.

"Because I want to."

"But.." I looked down to the ground, trying to hide my shame.

"I'm sorry, but I can't keep my promise.. I can't stay here. I can't watch. I'm sorry."

My head shot up. My eyes wide open. "Then I get to break mine." I said plainly, confidence lying hidden underneath. "If you get to break your promise, then I get to break mine."

He turned around to look at me questioningly. "No," he said shaking his head, "I let you do what I said I would. I let you take my first time away from me! You don't get to go back on your word because I can't sit here and watch you fuck your ass with that toy Hana bought you! Do you really expect me to be able to watch you do that? I don't love you, Kiba. I can't act like I'm your lover, even if for our friendship's sake. I can't!" He paused looking down, "I wasn't even thinking about you when you were… It felt good, it really did, but if I had to imagine someone else while you did that to me, do you really think that I can watch you pleasure yourself?"

I could not make out anything behind the film of tears that had collected. I was looking down anyway, to the floor, hiding my face from him, trying to salvage whatever dignity I had left.

"Kiba, I love you more than anyone else, but you know what I mean when I say that. I'm sorry that I let it come to this, but I can't go any further. Good bye, Kiba.." He left the room, gently closing the door behind him. I could hear the front door close.

A few minutes past, and I was still in that position on the floor, on my knees, crying, hands on the ground, clawing at the wood. The door to my room opened up slowly, and I knew it was Hana.

She came over to me, crouching over me, hugging me from the side, giving me all the comfort she could. She eased me onto my feet and laid me onto my bed, scooting me over and lying down next to me. She forced me over onto my side and hugged me from behind. She stayed there the entire night with me as I cried. My energy was drained, all of my defenses were broken, and the pillow was soaked with tears.


End file.
